Z is for... Zombies? :0

Good evening, little diamonds in the rough.

What?

Yeah, I don’t know. Moving on please.

So I went and saw “The Lone Ranger” a couple hours ago… Bout that… Maybe just go see “Grown Ups 2” instead… (Don’t get me wrong, I’m Johnny Depp’s numero uno fan, and there were some really funny and good parts in it, but other parts… Eh. It was just all right. Maybe if you have spare time and cash go see it, but I’m not gonna say “OMG LIKE GET UP RIGHT NOW AND GO SEE THE LONE RANGER THE MAIN GUY,(WAS HE THE RANGER????) WAS LIKE SO HOT AND IT WAS SO GOOD LIKE TOTES!!!! :DDDD” Yeah no. Again, free time and enough money and need to get out with the friends? Go see it. If not, you’ll live, believe me.)

But alas, this is not a review of that movie, ergo the title. (Yes, I did just use “ergo,” don’t judge meh :P)

While waiting in the ridiculously long line to use the bathroom, (little old ladies kept cutting me, and I’d had to pee since before the movie started… NOT COOL.), some woman struck up a conversation with me. She was maybe, eh, 40 something, give or take I guess. But she came in looking all surprised and kinda… just weird. Her eyes were all big, and she had this little smile on her face, so it kiiinda looked like she hadn’t just been watching a movie… (Who empties their wallet just to do the horizontal mamba in a supply closet???)

At least, not a legal movie… (*wink wink*)

Strange facial expression aside, she HAD just been in a movie, which I was going to find out roughly .75 seconds after she entered. She looked at me and starter blabbing, like I had a neon sign over my head, blinking, “Hey! Yes, you being all creepy! This girl RIGHT HER needs to have an awkward chat while trying to keep her bladder from exploding! Please help!”

So the first thing she announces is, “I didn’t know it’d be scary!”

I glanced over my shoulders to make sure she wasn’t talking to me, but, unfortunately… she was. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not antisocial, I just hate people :)

But I just mumbled an, “Ummm…” while praying the old ladies in the three stalls would seriously kick it in gear.

“Have you seen it???” she then asked.

I didn’t know what it she was referring to- honestly “it” could’ve been anything from her missing dog Toto to her brain (or lack thereof) to a boy’s private parts… In which case the dog is being held captive in Oz, she never had a brain (I’m sure of it), and I accidentally opened an email of my friend’s in seventh grade and saw Pete Wentz’s… Well, y’know- so I was again struck with genius from the god of words and said, “Ummm…”

“World War Z,” she cackled. “I was not expecting that.”

… What’s not to expect? How on God’s green earth did she not know it was going to be scary? HE-LLO

I nodded and forced a probably pained-looking smile, admitting that I had seen it, and throwing in the profound input that it was, “Quite suspenseful.”

She trucked on with, “I just… I really didn’t expect the zombies! They were just…”

And then this little old lady finally hobbles out of a stall- my heart picked and my smile became genuine… Sweet relief! I thought. Dear sweet Jesus, may the praises ring!- but, to my dismay, she stood in the doorway of the stall, intent on discussing the movie… And that’s where I was really shocked.

The old woman exclaimed, “I didn’t know it would have zombies! I was so surprised! I didn’t see it coming at all!”

…

No.

Just…

Come on!

How… How in the hell did you not expect the zombies?!?!

“Hmmm… I wonder what World War Z is about… Well, the previews show zombies chasing everyone, so it must not be that… Maybe it has something to do with zebras… Or the world ran out of zinc…”

Seriously?!

Okay, so maybe I’m ranting a bit here. Maybe I’m judging these chicks a little too harsh, but… I can’t be the only one who wants to facepalm at that, right???? :/

Well, when “Psycho Chainsaw Killer Guy Who’s Also A Cannibal and Likes Playing Ukuleles” comes out, I’ll make sure to clarify it’s about a psychopathic man who kills with a chainsaw and then eats the remains while enjoying the nice tune of a ukulele. That way she won’t be taken so off guard.

Gah, good night people.

Mother Said to Kill Them With Kindness... I Named the Gun "Kindness" :)

Just so you know, this blog will be 100% about ME ME ME.

Well, isn’t she conceited?

I kid I kid. Maybe only 10% :P

So how is your summer going? Well, actually, this one thing happened- Yeah I don’t care. Let’s move on to MY summer…

Naaaaah. I’m not just asking about your summer to ask, I genuinely want to hear! :3

Girls: Have you met any hunks? Had a make out session that was so hot it almost set your hair- and surrounding areas- on fire? Are you hiding said relationship from the ‘rents? Is it a Romeo and Juliet type of thing? Please tell me you haven’t met any sparkly vampires -_- No? Good. If you’re going through a “The Notebook” kind of relationship, then keep it to your freaking self. I don’t wanna hear about how y’all are sooooooo in love and how everything’s gonna be perfect in the end, (spoiler! You’ll get Alzheimer’s ;) :P) because THIS Single Pringle would get jealous xP

 Boys: Have you met the girl? (Now it’s up to you if “the girl” qualifies as the woman you’ll one day marry, the prostitute down the street, or *Stacy’s Mom.) Have you slept with her best friend? :0 Did you finally nail that skate boarding trick that’s been eluding you since you were eight years, fifteen days, and three hours old?

C’mon people, share!

But in all seriousness, if you have a really funny story, I always enjoy a good laugh! If something really bad happened to you, I’m here to help or give advice or sympathize… I’ll even accept the invite to your pity party! And if something great happened to you, well, awesome! Type it all! I have ears, and they’re ready to listen!

Well… I have eyes and they’re ready to look and then the receptors are ready to flip everything the right way and my brain is ready to translate and show everything, and therefore they’re ready to read…

But yeah: If I see something particularly funny or awesome or it catches my attention or what have you, I’ll probably share it on here and on my Instagram :) (@bannaboo101)

Anyways, a small tidbit- nibble?- of my summer right here:

Driver’s Ed, (which was completely unnecessary… Mom!) consisted of rude, chair-stealing snobs, (there is such a thing as sitting on the ground, Doll >.>) a delicious boy, (I knew when I saw him he was too cute to be a) single, b)straight, or c)both… He was taken V.v), fake friends, (Mother said to kill them with kindness… I named the gun kindness >:D) and a ginger (what more can I say? xD).

Then came a photo shoot with one of my guuuurlz… And that did not consist of: A tight slutty tee with a lowcut neckline; skimpy material that barely covered our butts that we liked to call “shorts”; duck face; scissor hands; or scissor handed duck faces that were clad in whorish clothes. I did her makeup and took some (a million and one) pictures… Which I’ll probably post some later. If not here, then on my IG :)

Then I spent my last few days of freedom- erm, I mean July, with my best friend, both of us completely addicted to anime. (Kyo, I will find a machine that makes you real and then I will rape- AH! I mean marry you. And your cousins. You now have fair warning ;)

Annnnnd currently I’m in solitary confinement.

What?!

Well, I’m spending all of this month, and some of August, in the itty bitty little village (Wtf? We still have those??? Yeah.) of Morris, (we’re not even in Morris… We’re ten minutes away…) where there’s this house my mom has been coming to since she was a tyke, (y’know, back when dinosaurs were relatively new…)

I am surrounded by corn. And trees. And gigantic deer.

I’m actually kind of waiting for Bigfoot to wander out of the woods, (approximately two feet from my window), tip his hat at me, and ask for a cup o’tea.

Or just eat me…

Details details.

To give you an idea of this place: The nearest Wal-Mart is over an hour away.

Sir! Uh, sir! Please pick up your jaw: It doesn’t belong on the floor. Thank ya kindly.

(Ack! Am I sounding too negative?! I promised myself I’d keep things positive… I’m not here to complain about my horrible life and how my parents just don’t get me and how things never go my way and just the general teenage angst crap :P So, for some positives…)

This place is absolutely breathtaking. The rolling hills… The flowers… The wildlife… Hell, even the trees are beautiful!

Not to mention the cool weather is SO much better than the strangling humidity and melting heat of Florida! <3

And I guess the social isolation does slow things down a bit… It’s quite nice.

Now I just have a thousand pages of summer reading to do and detailed journaling for every single one of them. (Knowing me I’ll be doing that two days before school begins again… Ah, Procrastination… You are mine enemy, but you’re also my bestie xD)

Until next time, folks. *Pulls a Pete Wentz from “Dance Dance” and solutes*


*Stacy's Mom Music Video

Genesis

Genesis?
Oh no.
Another Bible Thumper.
I'm outa here!!!

All right all right, calm your tits and get the mouse away from the exit button. That's not why I used "Genesis" as my title... Hey! I said get the mouse away!
Thank you >w<
Anyways, this is titled "genesis" because of it's definition... Not referrin' to a book in the Bible, sir. It means, "origin, beginning, dawn, birth..." You get the idea. And since this is my first post, the birth of my blog... Again, you get the idea.

As for the title of my blog, please don't be under the impression I'm goin' all "emo" on your ass. (It's a joke, don't get all bristly :P) For one, I love eyeliner. Two, all I own are skinny jeans. And three... Well... Who can't resist vampire ponies?!?!?! :0

SO, all that being said, let's get on to the blog...