Mother Said to Kill Them With Kindness... I Named the Gun "Kindness" :)

Just so you know, this blog will be 100% about ME ME ME.

Well, isn’t she conceited?

I kid I kid. Maybe only 10% :P

So how is your summer going? Well, actually, this one thing happened- Yeah I don’t care. Let’s move on to MY summer…

Naaaaah. I’m not just asking about your summer to ask, I genuinely want to hear! :3

Girls: Have you met any hunks? Had a make out session that was so hot it almost set your hair- and surrounding areas- on fire? Are you hiding said relationship from the ‘rents? Is it a Romeo and Juliet type of thing? Please tell me you haven’t met any sparkly vampires -_- No? Good. If you’re going through a “The Notebook” kind of relationship, then keep it to your freaking self. I don’t wanna hear about how y’all are sooooooo in love and how everything’s gonna be perfect in the end, (spoiler! You’ll get Alzheimer’s ;) :P) because THIS Single Pringle would get jealous xP

 Boys: Have you met the girl? (Now it’s up to you if “the girl” qualifies as the woman you’ll one day marry, the prostitute down the street, or *Stacy’s Mom.) Have you slept with her best friend? :0 Did you finally nail that skate boarding trick that’s been eluding you since you were eight years, fifteen days, and three hours old?

C’mon people, share!

But in all seriousness, if you have a really funny story, I always enjoy a good laugh! If something really bad happened to you, I’m here to help or give advice or sympathize… I’ll even accept the invite to your pity party! And if something great happened to you, well, awesome! Type it all! I have ears, and they’re ready to listen!

Well… I have eyes and they’re ready to look and then the receptors are ready to flip everything the right way and my brain is ready to translate and show everything, and therefore they’re ready to read…

But yeah: If I see something particularly funny or awesome or it catches my attention or what have you, I’ll probably share it on here and on my Instagram :) (@bannaboo101)

Anyways, a small tidbit- nibble?- of my summer right here:

Driver’s Ed, (which was completely unnecessary… Mom!) consisted of rude, chair-stealing snobs, (there is such a thing as sitting on the ground, Doll >.>) a delicious boy, (I knew when I saw him he was too cute to be a) single, b)straight, or c)both… He was taken V.v), fake friends, (Mother said to kill them with kindness… I named the gun kindness >:D) and a ginger (what more can I say? xD).

Then came a photo shoot with one of my guuuurlz… And that did not consist of: A tight slutty tee with a lowcut neckline; skimpy material that barely covered our butts that we liked to call “shorts”; duck face; scissor hands; or scissor handed duck faces that were clad in whorish clothes. I did her makeup and took some (a million and one) pictures… Which I’ll probably post some later. If not here, then on my IG :)

Then I spent my last few days of freedom- erm, I mean July, with my best friend, both of us completely addicted to anime. (Kyo, I will find a machine that makes you real and then I will rape- AH! I mean marry you. And your cousins. You now have fair warning ;)

Annnnnd currently I’m in solitary confinement.

What?!

Well, I’m spending all of this month, and some of August, in the itty bitty little village (Wtf? We still have those??? Yeah.) of Morris, (we’re not even in Morris… We’re ten minutes away…) where there’s this house my mom has been coming to since she was a tyke, (y’know, back when dinosaurs were relatively new…)

I am surrounded by corn. And trees. And gigantic deer.

I’m actually kind of waiting for Bigfoot to wander out of the woods, (approximately two feet from my window), tip his hat at me, and ask for a cup o’tea.

Or just eat me…

Details details.

To give you an idea of this place: The nearest Wal-Mart is over an hour away.

Sir! Uh, sir! Please pick up your jaw: It doesn’t belong on the floor. Thank ya kindly.

(Ack! Am I sounding too negative?! I promised myself I’d keep things positive… I’m not here to complain about my horrible life and how my parents just don’t get me and how things never go my way and just the general teenage angst crap :P So, for some positives…)

This place is absolutely breathtaking. The rolling hills… The flowers… The wildlife… Hell, even the trees are beautiful!

Not to mention the cool weather is SO much better than the strangling humidity and melting heat of Florida! <3

And I guess the social isolation does slow things down a bit… It’s quite nice.

Now I just have a thousand pages of summer reading to do and detailed journaling for every single one of them. (Knowing me I’ll be doing that two days before school begins again… Ah, Procrastination… You are mine enemy, but you’re also my bestie xD)

Until next time, folks. *Pulls a Pete Wentz from “Dance Dance” and solutes*


*Stacy's Mom Music Video